Growing a Great Pumpkin Patch

Years ago, when the kids were the right age for picking and carving pumpkins and I had achieved a perceived level of gardening skill that may or may not have been deserved, I decided to grow them a little pumpkin patch of their own. But I quickly learned there are no 'little' pumpkin patches.

My memory of that adventure was jogged recently when we received an email from a dad who wanted to grow a patch for his own children. I would be happy to share his name and location, but that information is now hiding somewhere with my car keys, date book and list of telephone numbers too important to lose and will not reappear until after the day this show airs.

But the question is still perfect for this time of year, so off we go.

Bottom line: It's all about space. Pumpkins really are the 800-pound gorillas of the garden, with vines so rampant we might need a new word to describe them. This is not a task for a small garden; the Godzilla-like vines will shade and/or just plain overwhelm other crops if you don't give those vines the space they need.

(Heck; they may overwhelm your other plants anyway, but if you plan for it, it will at least look like you were paying attention.)

Presumably, you'll be growing Jack-o-Lantern sized pumpkins, which are in the 15-to-25-pound range, although they look bigger than that because they're largely hollow inside. The book says to plant them in single rows with 30-40 inches between plants and 8-12 feet between rows. As you can see, we're already taking up a lot of space, even though we have nothing planted yet.

Timing: most people plant Halloween pumpkins way too early. We're not talking about being ready to pick tomatoes in July and August here. We don't want our pumpkins to be ripe until early to mid-October, lest they rot or become mouse food before the holiday. Bonus: this timing allows you to wait until the soil is warm enough to plant the seeds directly in the soil, as opposed to starting the plants early indoors.

Choose your varieties carefully. Take a pass on exotic names, strange shapes, and giant pumpkins. Select varieties that have been used to populate pumpkin patches for ages, like the classic "Connecticut Field", which is great for both pies and the carving of scary faces. You can grow similarly sized white pumpkins like "Spooky" if you like, but I fail to see the point.

Most normal sized pumpkins are rated 90 to 100 days to maturity. That number refers to the day you plant the seed in warm soil to the day the first pumpkin on the vine becomes ripe. You can expect two or three good pumpkins per plant, so allow time for those extra ones to form.

Let's say that we're aiming to harvest at around 110 days. Using October 15th as our picking target, we're planting mid-to-late June. The plants are going to grow fast in the warm summer soil and you don't want them to ripen too early in the season.

But now I have you scared, so let's say June 1st. The soil should be warm enough to sprout the seed quickly, and you'll be ahead of the game, which may not be what you want, but I'll handle that part in a moment.

That soil has to be ridiculously rich and fertile; lots of high-quality compost and completely aged manure should be added to the surface (NOT tilled in) before planting. You shouldn't have to worry about weeds, as the huge leaves will cover the soil surface nicely.

Keep adding compost throughout the season and water slowly and DEEPLY (for several hours at a pop) if we get a week without rain. Pumpkins are heavy feeders and drinkers.

Don't get too excited when you see your first flowers, as they'll all be male and won't produce fruits. DO eat the flowers though, as all squash blossoms are edible and tasty. (Stuff them with a soft cheese; it's classic!) Female flowers will follow, identified by a little round bulge at the base of the flower. These are your pumpkins to be.

If it's ridiculously early in the season, pull off those first flowers (that's my helpful advice for early planters). If and when the time seems right, leave the new flowers be, but pinch off any flowers that follow that after the third fruit begins forming. Don't allow more than three fruits to ripen per vine.

If summer is wet, slide a flat piece of wood underneath the fruits to keep them off the ground. Keep an eye out for mice, Evil Squirrels, deer, racoons, and thieving neighbors. Motion activated sprinklers and motion detecting light and radio combinations work well. (Make sure the radio is set to an AM talk station with lots of yelling; you don't want to provide smooth jazz music for your foes' dining pleasure.)

Harvest when each fruit is fully colored up and sounds hollow inside when you thunk it. Cut it off the vine with a good amount of handle attached and bring it inside to cure where the mice have less of a chance. Don't let the dog get it.

Yes, there are {quote} 'baby' pumpkins that produce lots of cute miniature fruits, but their vines are just as monstrous. However, you can grow these types in a smaller space by running the vines up and down a tall trellis. The little pumpkins don't weigh much and shouldn't destroy their support like big ones would.

And finally, toast and eat the seeds from your pumpkins. Don't save those seeds for planting the following season. Pumpkins and other members of the squash family promiscuously cross-pollinate, and if you plant your saved seed, you'll grow a weird gourd instead.